Dec 30
The media has responded scathingly towards the Ultra Orthodox Jewish world as a result of their actions. And understandably so.
One of the credos of Western societies is the freedom and equality of all people. Regardless of gender, race, or religion. Men are no better than women. Whites are no better than blacks. Christians are no more righteous than Hindus. Clearly, than, this Ultra Orthodox behavior is misguided and should be reprimanded. They are in violation of one of the cardinal tenets of developed nations.
In the words of CNN, "There is an attempt to deny freedom and values of democracy, the values on which the state of Israel was created." Further, these people are not merely backwards, they are bad people. From CNN,“...they are bad. They need to be taken out of here.”
The subjugation of women, relegating them to the back of a bus, cordoning them away from the public eye, that is clearly medieval thinking. These people are living in the dark ages.
However, when we sit in judgement of other people, of other cultures, whom we know very little about, we merely create boundaries and barriers that divide us. We end up learning nothing and we don't grow from the experience. We only contribute to fracture an already fractured world.
Rather we must first seek to understand and then be understood. We must seek to first understand their insular world, their mysterious society, and then we will be able to resolve this conflict.
The Ultra Orthodox Jewish world respect women's rights as does the Western world. However, they define respect differently.
Western society defines respect and freedom by empowering women to achieve the same achievements as men. Gender shouldn't be a consideration for success. Women should be able to become CEO's, entrepreneurs and Secretaries of State. No achievement should be off limits to them because of their gender.
Women in Western societies have indeed been empowered. Women have achieved great things because of this outlook. Marissa Mayer, Hillary Clinton, and Condoleeza Rice - to name a few.
Ultra Orthodox Judaism defines respect and freedom to women by having a good family. They believe that women really want a well fed, looked after, tight knit family even more than all of the material achievements in the world. Marissa Mayer isn't seen as a hero. Hillary Clinton isn't held up on a pedestal. Their heroes are women who have built families with good children, a well kept house, and a loyal and passionate marriage. Not an easy feat. To juggle the challenges of the family and not merely to stay afloat but also to thrive, well, that's something special. Of course, that's not to preclude a woman from being a successful entrepreneur either, however, that's an additional icing to the cake. The cake is a successful home. The icing is a successful business.
Ultra Orthodox Jewry also has an issue with the Western view of women's rights.
A philosophy is to be judged by the fruit it bears. A society which espouses freedom and respect for women shouldn't bear the fruit it does. It should lead to tight knit families. Wholesome marriages. Not to a billion dollar porn industry.
With divorce rates skyrocketing in the western world, with extra marital affairs being common place, and over 30% of women relying on miracle drugs such as Zoloft, Paxil, or Prozac to lift them out of their state of depression, there is no wonder why the Ultra Orthodox look to the Western view of women's rights dubiously.
The Ultra Orthodox Jewish world is afraid. They are afraid of broken marriages, depressed wives, and extra marital affairs. If this is the fruit of Western society they would prefer to stay away.
Respecting women doesn't mean letting them sit with men on the bus and plastering their naked bodies across a multitude of websites. Reducing women to mere skin. Their most external element. Respecting women means treating them with respect. It means not engaging in extramarital affairs. It means not engaging in marital rape. It means not hitting on other women because you are bored with your relationship.
The Ultra Orthodox are afraid. They are afraid that if they allow the openness which Western Culture espouses that their families will also go the way of the Western societies. I think that would be a very sad thing.
My optometrist recently hired a young, professional lady optometrist to come and join his practice. When we first met, she boldly stretched out her hand to introduce herself. I excused myself, stating that I don't shake hands with women. She was clearly perturbed and insulted. She says, "Okaay.." [Translation: "What the heck is wrong with you. You religious fanatic, don't you have any respect for people?!] Whilst she was testing my eyes, I mustered up the courage to ask her if she would be open to hearing an explanation behind my behavior. She responded, "Ye. Give it your best shot." [Translation: I can't imagine there could possibly be a good explanation for this, but whatever dude. You're sitting here, so we might as well hear what you have to say. It's awkwardly quiet anyways.]
I proceeded to introduce her to a book written by Malcolm Gladwell. "The Tipping Point". Malcom Gladwell asserts that small, seemingly insignificant and trivial actions can create a tipping point and precipitate an outcome much greater than imagined.
One example he gives is of New York City in the mid 80's. New York City in the mid 80's suffered from rampant crime. Heinous crime. William Bratton was appointed Chief of Police to deal with this serious problem. Instead of combatting crime head on, he implemented seemingly minor changes which seemed outrageous at the time. He adopted a zero tolerance policy towards fare dodging on subways and intensively targeted the presence of graffiti on the subway.
Citizens were up in arms. Here we are suffering from heinous crime and the new Chief of Police is dealing with minor infractions of the law. William Bratton stood his ground.
Shortly thereafter crime in New York dropped precipitously.
It's the little things. The seemingly insignificant things. Trifling actions.
I concluded, we live in a world where extra marital relationships are the norm. Not just amongst the masses but also amongst the leaders of society. Bill Clinton, Dominic Strauss Kahn. Arnold Schwarzenegger - to name a few. We live in a world where women's bodies are broadcast and turned into a multi billion dollar porn industry.
I don't know what will fix the problem, but my little contribution is that I am careful not to touch women that I am not married to. Not because of some made-up impurity story. Rather, because I believe that small actions can precipitate unimagined consequences. If all men were sensitive to not touching women outside their marriage, surely they would not sleep with them. If all men respected the space of women, we wouldn't have a multi billionaire porn industry. (Japanese culture also frowns upon touching women of the opposite gender and their divorce rates are significantly lower than most Western societies.)
Just as a zero tolerance approach towards fare dodging was able to contribute to the drop in crime in New York City, so too a zero tolerance approach towards touching women whom you are not married to, would contribute to a drop in the amount of broken families and extra marital affairs our society suffers from. With that I concluded my explanation why I don’t shake hands with women.
Her demeanor changed. From ridicule to respect. Wow.
Every time I came afterwards she had a profound respect for me. She really appreciated that. I respected her space.
The Ultra Orthodox are afraid. And rightfully so.
They say, don't espouse respect for women and then go on to debase them with a multi billion dollar porn industry, extra marital affairs, and broken families. Women are meant to be respected, not debased. Not by an Ultra Orthodox Jew, and neither by a Western atheist.
However, with all that, I think these Ultra Orthodox Jews have taken measures beyond human decency. They have discarded primary tenets whilst exalting secondary ones. They have done so on two accounts.
Firstly, there is never a place for insulting and humiliating people. Never. Ever.
The Talmud states, "It is better to die than to embarrass someone publicly."
There is never a good reason to spit at someone. Never mind an 8 year old girl. That behavior is intolerable. There is never a good reason to push a lady to the back of the bus and treat her like a second class citizen.
Secondly, don't impose your own personal stringencies upon other people and public spaces. You are coming on to a bus which is shared by many different types of people who all have different values. It's universally accepted that it is unacceptable to kill, steal, rape and crimes like that. However, no one is doing that.
You have a personal stringency that you don't want to look at woman that you are not married to. But don't come on the bus and force everyone else to adopt your own personal stringencies.
To the secular world, realize that the Ultra Orthodox world does have a point. They want to shunt out any influence that the Western world has on their communities for fear that their families will be negatively influenced by them.
To the Ultra Orthodox world, never humiliate people. Ever. And don't impose your position on people. Expose people to your perspective. Don't preach. Teach.
Ultra Orthodox Jews and Women.
The Ultra Orthodox Jews in Israel live in a world of their own. An insulated world. A mysterious world. Through actions such as spitting at an 8 year old girl and attempting to force a lady to the back of a bus, the Ultra Orthodox world has invited an unbecoming light upon their usually cloistered world.The media has responded scathingly towards the Ultra Orthodox Jewish world as a result of their actions. And understandably so.
One of the credos of Western societies is the freedom and equality of all people. Regardless of gender, race, or religion. Men are no better than women. Whites are no better than blacks. Christians are no more righteous than Hindus. Clearly, than, this Ultra Orthodox behavior is misguided and should be reprimanded. They are in violation of one of the cardinal tenets of developed nations.
In the words of CNN, "There is an attempt to deny freedom and values of democracy, the values on which the state of Israel was created." Further, these people are not merely backwards, they are bad people. From CNN,“...they are bad. They need to be taken out of here.”
The subjugation of women, relegating them to the back of a bus, cordoning them away from the public eye, that is clearly medieval thinking. These people are living in the dark ages.
However, when we sit in judgement of other people, of other cultures, whom we know very little about, we merely create boundaries and barriers that divide us. We end up learning nothing and we don't grow from the experience. We only contribute to fracture an already fractured world.
Rather we must first seek to understand and then be understood. We must seek to first understand their insular world, their mysterious society, and then we will be able to resolve this conflict.
The Ultra Orthodox Jewish world respect women's rights as does the Western world. However, they define respect differently.
Western society defines respect and freedom by empowering women to achieve the same achievements as men. Gender shouldn't be a consideration for success. Women should be able to become CEO's, entrepreneurs and Secretaries of State. No achievement should be off limits to them because of their gender.
Women in Western societies have indeed been empowered. Women have achieved great things because of this outlook. Marissa Mayer, Hillary Clinton, and Condoleeza Rice - to name a few.
Ultra Orthodox Judaism defines respect and freedom to women by having a good family. They believe that women really want a well fed, looked after, tight knit family even more than all of the material achievements in the world. Marissa Mayer isn't seen as a hero. Hillary Clinton isn't held up on a pedestal. Their heroes are women who have built families with good children, a well kept house, and a loyal and passionate marriage. Not an easy feat. To juggle the challenges of the family and not merely to stay afloat but also to thrive, well, that's something special. Of course, that's not to preclude a woman from being a successful entrepreneur either, however, that's an additional icing to the cake. The cake is a successful home. The icing is a successful business.
Ultra Orthodox Jewry also has an issue with the Western view of women's rights.
A philosophy is to be judged by the fruit it bears. A society which espouses freedom and respect for women shouldn't bear the fruit it does. It should lead to tight knit families. Wholesome marriages. Not to a billion dollar porn industry.
With divorce rates skyrocketing in the western world, with extra marital affairs being common place, and over 30% of women relying on miracle drugs such as Zoloft, Paxil, or Prozac to lift them out of their state of depression, there is no wonder why the Ultra Orthodox look to the Western view of women's rights dubiously.
The Ultra Orthodox Jewish world is afraid. They are afraid of broken marriages, depressed wives, and extra marital affairs. If this is the fruit of Western society they would prefer to stay away.
Respecting women doesn't mean letting them sit with men on the bus and plastering their naked bodies across a multitude of websites. Reducing women to mere skin. Their most external element. Respecting women means treating them with respect. It means not engaging in extramarital affairs. It means not engaging in marital rape. It means not hitting on other women because you are bored with your relationship.
The Ultra Orthodox are afraid. They are afraid that if they allow the openness which Western Culture espouses that their families will also go the way of the Western societies. I think that would be a very sad thing.
My optometrist recently hired a young, professional lady optometrist to come and join his practice. When we first met, she boldly stretched out her hand to introduce herself. I excused myself, stating that I don't shake hands with women. She was clearly perturbed and insulted. She says, "Okaay.." [Translation: "What the heck is wrong with you. You religious fanatic, don't you have any respect for people?!] Whilst she was testing my eyes, I mustered up the courage to ask her if she would be open to hearing an explanation behind my behavior. She responded, "Ye. Give it your best shot." [Translation: I can't imagine there could possibly be a good explanation for this, but whatever dude. You're sitting here, so we might as well hear what you have to say. It's awkwardly quiet anyways.]
I proceeded to introduce her to a book written by Malcolm Gladwell. "The Tipping Point". Malcom Gladwell asserts that small, seemingly insignificant and trivial actions can create a tipping point and precipitate an outcome much greater than imagined.
One example he gives is of New York City in the mid 80's. New York City in the mid 80's suffered from rampant crime. Heinous crime. William Bratton was appointed Chief of Police to deal with this serious problem. Instead of combatting crime head on, he implemented seemingly minor changes which seemed outrageous at the time. He adopted a zero tolerance policy towards fare dodging on subways and intensively targeted the presence of graffiti on the subway.
Citizens were up in arms. Here we are suffering from heinous crime and the new Chief of Police is dealing with minor infractions of the law. William Bratton stood his ground.
Shortly thereafter crime in New York dropped precipitously.
It's the little things. The seemingly insignificant things. Trifling actions.
I concluded, we live in a world where extra marital relationships are the norm. Not just amongst the masses but also amongst the leaders of society. Bill Clinton, Dominic Strauss Kahn. Arnold Schwarzenegger - to name a few. We live in a world where women's bodies are broadcast and turned into a multi billion dollar porn industry.
I don't know what will fix the problem, but my little contribution is that I am careful not to touch women that I am not married to. Not because of some made-up impurity story. Rather, because I believe that small actions can precipitate unimagined consequences. If all men were sensitive to not touching women outside their marriage, surely they would not sleep with them. If all men respected the space of women, we wouldn't have a multi billionaire porn industry. (Japanese culture also frowns upon touching women of the opposite gender and their divorce rates are significantly lower than most Western societies.)
Just as a zero tolerance approach towards fare dodging was able to contribute to the drop in crime in New York City, so too a zero tolerance approach towards touching women whom you are not married to, would contribute to a drop in the amount of broken families and extra marital affairs our society suffers from. With that I concluded my explanation why I don’t shake hands with women.
Her demeanor changed. From ridicule to respect. Wow.
Every time I came afterwards she had a profound respect for me. She really appreciated that. I respected her space.
The Ultra Orthodox are afraid. And rightfully so.
They say, don't espouse respect for women and then go on to debase them with a multi billion dollar porn industry, extra marital affairs, and broken families. Women are meant to be respected, not debased. Not by an Ultra Orthodox Jew, and neither by a Western atheist.
However, with all that, I think these Ultra Orthodox Jews have taken measures beyond human decency. They have discarded primary tenets whilst exalting secondary ones. They have done so on two accounts.
Firstly, there is never a place for insulting and humiliating people. Never. Ever.
The Talmud states, "It is better to die than to embarrass someone publicly."
There is never a good reason to spit at someone. Never mind an 8 year old girl. That behavior is intolerable. There is never a good reason to push a lady to the back of the bus and treat her like a second class citizen.
Secondly, don't impose your own personal stringencies upon other people and public spaces. You are coming on to a bus which is shared by many different types of people who all have different values. It's universally accepted that it is unacceptable to kill, steal, rape and crimes like that. However, no one is doing that.
You have a personal stringency that you don't want to look at woman that you are not married to. But don't come on the bus and force everyone else to adopt your own personal stringencies.
To the secular world, realize that the Ultra Orthodox world does have a point. They want to shunt out any influence that the Western world has on their communities for fear that their families will be negatively influenced by them.
To the Ultra Orthodox world, never humiliate people. Ever. And don't impose your position on people. Expose people to your perspective. Don't preach. Teach.
